CRITICISM IS AN OPPORTUNITY FOR GROWTH
What if criticism opens the door for good things to happen in your life? Does Criticism feel like an ugly word that means ugly things to you? The idea of criticism—especially receiving it—often feels uncomfortable and like something to avoid. It makes sense to avoid destructive criticism, but what about criticism that has merit and value? We’ve talked about what a difference is made when you can call criticism feedback. Wouldn’t you be better off knowing something that could actually be a growth opportunity? The answer is a resounding YES!
Do You See Criticism As Helpful
The ability to humble oneself, and receive criticism as feedback, is crucial to growth as a Christian. A desire for God’s change in our lives will make us more open to it. Pride will block it. What if criticism was the door to the change we desperately want to see in our life, or the life of our spouse or children? We often cry out to God and then say no to the means He chooses to use to answer our prayers!
Series on “How to Give and Receive Criticism Like God would want”
- How to Give and Receive Criticism Like God Would Want, Part 1
- What are the Top 3 Reasons People Hate Criticism, Part 2
- 3 Unexpected Ways Criticism Can Make You Stronger, Part 3
- How to Find Success When You Call Criticism Feedback, Part 4
- How to Give and Take Criticism in a Healthy Way, Part 5
- How to Criticize Behavior, Not Character, Part 6
- How to Get Help From Criticism and Not Defensive, Part 7
- What if Criticism Will Help Good Things To Happen, Part 8
- How to Take Criticism Like God Would Want, Part 9
- How to Have a Healthy Relationship When You Disagree, Part 10
- How to Be Humbly Grateful For Criticism, Part 11
As Christian parents, it is vitally important that we train our children to humbly receive and stay calm when receiving feedback that is less than positive. Our children receive so much instruction, because they are learning and growing, and it is imperative that we learn to give instruction without criticism all the time.
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Our example as we are criticized will also train them how to respond when they are criticized. We can’t tell them to receive it well, and then fall apart, or blow up, when we receive it! We must see it as a positive thing and learn to evaluate it, use it to help us, and be open to the change God wants to make in our lives.
Criticism is an opportunity for growth and a way to evaluate and make important changes. Here’s how:
Criticism Can Help You Change Your Perspective
Sometimes we are certain we are right when, in fact, we aren’t. This can be dangerous and hold us back. Constructive criticism helps us see things from a new or different perspective which can often help make important shifts in our behavior.
We must train our children, by example, to go to God’s Word with criticism. Does it line up? Is there sin in my life? Is repentance and change needed? If criticism leads to a change for the positive it is definitely a good thing!
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As Christian parents, it is vitally important that we train our children to humbly receive and stay calm when receiving feedback that is less than positive.
Wendy Gunn
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CRITICISM CAN PREVENT NEGATIVE CONSEQUENCES
Sometimes what seems like critical feedback might actually be a warning from the LORD.
Being made aware of deficits, problematic behavior, faults, or sins, can help us avoid unwanted consequences, including but not limited to, destruction of family relationships, marriage issues, strife and problems between parents and children, work issues, loss of business opportunities, relationship issues in the church, loss of spiritual fruit, the hindrance of our prayers, a breach in our relationship with the LORD, and other things.
Did Criticism Ever Cause Good Things to Happen?
Count it a blessing when you become aware of ways you are possibly causing yourself harm. Be grateful for the people willing to speak truth into your life through constructive criticism.
One example from my own life is when I received harsh criticism from my doctor years ago that caused me to alter my lifestyle choices and better my health! When criticized, it definitely didn’t feel good, but had I not made changes based on that criticism, I might not be alive today, so it definitely caused good things to happen!
CRITICISM CAN CREATE OPPORTUNITIES
When you regard criticism as feedback you have the opportunity to change. I’ve written a lot on heart change that leads to habit change. We must accept that there is a need for change and not just resistantly accept it, but actually ask God for the heart and habit change He knows we need.
You can change your behavior, your habits, your principles, your patterns, your goals, your relationships, and more. Criticism can alert you to the negative impact you’re having on others and help you modify or change your behavior, and it is a good thing in that case.
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In marriage and parenting, there have been memorable times when I’ve received constructive criticism that turned out to be life-changing for me and my family.
The bottom line is that criticism is an opportunity to grow and it is a good thing when you take the time to listen to it and analyze it.
What if Criticism can Prompt Positive and Good Change
Ask yourself these questions:
- Is there truth to what I am hearing? If you know in your heart that the feedback you’re hearing is true, don’t get defensive. If you’ve been convicted in your spirit from the Word of God about this very thing, and then a person tells you the same thing, don’t resist them, just because they may not say it the way you want, or you don’t want to hear it from them. Listen to what is being said and consider making changes.
- Is this person trustworthy and wise? Is this person speaking from a Biblical perspective? Do they have all the facts? Does this person truly care about me and want my best? If you know that the person is someone you can trust to give you wise and faithful advice, based on past experience, and their advice lines up with Scripture, they are worth paying attention to. However, even someone who isn’t can speak the truth sometimes.
- Will making changes improve my situation? There’s no reason to stubbornly refuse to do something that you know is going to cause good things to happen in your life. Is your pride standing in the way of growth and helpful change? Are you resisting just because you hate to be wrong? Using feedback to help you grow makes sense. Turning your back on solid feedback because it’s critical is like refusing a life preserver when you can’t swim.
Click to Get Your Free Pretty Printable Scripture Cards. Use them all over your house to draw your family closer to the Lord!
You’ve got choices when you hear criticism. You can refute it, ignore it, or use it to grow. Shake off any embarrassment or anxiety that criticism might cause and replace it with a sincere desire to learn and grow from the feedback. We won’t grow in godliness unless we listen to Godly, wise feedback that others give us.
3 Tips That Reduce Tension When You’re Being Critiqued
Being criticized is an intense situation and doesn’t feel great in our flesh. It can cause a tense interaction and physical and emotional responses that leave you feeling hot, anxious, and triggered. But, there are things you can do to reduce the tension and make the experience less stressful.
A lot of the reason people stress out when criticized is because of their pride. And fear of the unknown. The fight or flight response kicks in. Our bodies tense, we shut down or become defensive and the criticism often ends in a fight, or abruptly without a plan for resolution. These situations can be avoided with some careful considerations. Next time you find yourself being critiqued, do these things:
Did Criticism Ever Cause Good Things to Happen?
- Pray for help–send up a cry for help to God
- Watch your body language
- Be humble and ask questions
- Ask for time to consider the criticism and find a resolution
Pray for God’s Help to see what good things he has
You can’t respond to criticism as you should without God’s help. Be prayed up beforehand. Daily spend time in the Word of God. Then, when criticized, shoot up a prayer right then and there, when you feel yourself tensing up and reacting. Cry out to God for help.
It’s important to be in God’s Word and daily commit yourself and your day to Him. Remember that God is in control. Try to see that the negative criticism you receive could be the catalyst for the good things you want to see happen. Then you will respond very differently.
Click to Get Your Free Pretty Printable Scripture Cards. Use them all over your house to draw your family closer to the Lord!
When you are living in constant communion with God, you will be more likely to respond with the right spirit when criticized. Your heart and mind will more automatically respond as Christ would. Look to Christ’s example, for He was criticized often, and yet He didn’t sin in His response.
“When you are living in constant communion with God, you will be more likely to respond with the right spirit when criticized.“
Wendy Gunn
Do You See Criticism As Helpful
Be Mindful of Your Body Language
We may have no idea what our body language is saying at times! Our bodies react to stress in different ways. Some people get physically ill, others clench their fists, teeth, and muscles, and other people curl up in a ball. Watch your body language and try to keep yourself calm.
Uncross your legs or arms, drop your shoulders and loosen your jaw. Doing what you can to keep your muscles relaxed will help you stop feeling tense during a critical moment and be more open to the good things God wants for you through it.
These unintentional responses in body language are communicating to the other person, too. When you humble yourself to receive criticism as feedback, and think that this could be a word from the LORD to you that can cause good things to happen, you can give a very different message non-verbally to the someone speaking criticism to you.
Ask Clarifying Questions
If you don’t fully understand or agree with the critique, ask clarifying questions. Try to understand, rather than just shut out the person. In a non-defensive way, ask for more information or examples that can help you better understand the point of view or frame of reference that is being shared.
Asking questions can also help you develop rapport and ease tension that could be mounting if you are not engaging in the conversation. Your tone and mood should reflect that you are curious about or invested in the feedback you are hearing.
Consider if the criticism were being given to someone else–how would you respond? What if there were a habit or problem in their life that you wanted to see changed, and they were receiving this criticism?
Can you see the good things that can come about from the criticism, if you humble yourself? Can you take a step back and see it from another perspective? What questions would you ask to find out more information? If you can listen in a more objective manner, it will help diffuse any tension.
When you apply these tips to criticism you may receive in your closest relationships–your communication with your spouse, parents, siblings, children, those in authority over you, such as your boss, pastor, teacher or trainer, and even your closest friends–you’ll be amazed at the difference it makes in your life.
What if Criticism can Prompt Positive and Good Change
Find a Resolution to any Issues at Hand
Being criticized doesn’t feel great when you don’t have the opportunity to make things right or better. The sooner you can agree to any action steps that need to happen, the sooner you can turn your criticism into a learning experience you benefit from.
There can be a lot of tension during a critical conversation. There are things you can do to ease the tension and make the experience less painful. First of all, pray! That is the most powerful thing you can do. Give the conversation to God. Have a humble heart and mind to receive the critique as though it came from the LORD Himself.
Pray, be aware of your body language, ask questions, and work to find a resolution, rather than stubbornly resisting, so that you leave the conversation feeling confident and secure that you’ve done all you can do to make things better. Remember that God will work all things together for good to them who love Him and are the called according to His purpose (Romans 8:28) so that He may make us into the image of Christ.
Click to Get Your Free Pretty Printable Scripture Cards. Use them all over your house to draw your family closer to the Lord!
Read More in the Series on “How to Give and Receive Criticism Like God would want”
- How to Give and Receive Criticism Like God Would Want, Part 1
- What are the Top 3 Reasons People Hate Criticism, Part 2
- 3 Unexpected Ways Criticism Can Make You Stronger, Part 3
- How to Find Success When You Call Criticism Feedback, Part 4
- How to Give and Take Criticism in a Healthy Way, Part 5
- How to Criticize Behavior, Not Character, Part 6
- How to Get Help From Criticism and Not Defensive, Part 7
- What if Criticism Will Help Good Things To Happen, Part 8
- How to Take Criticism Like God Would Want, Part 9
- How to Have a Healthy Relationship When You Disagree, Part 10
- How to Be Humbly Grateful For Criticism, Part 11
Have a Great Week Making Your Home For God!
P.S. Check out the resources at Christian Marriage Adventures for better communication and a stronger marriage today!
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