“Criticism is something you can easily avoid by saying nothing, doing nothing, and being nothing.”–Aristotle
This is Part 2, “What are the Top 3 Reasons People Hate Being Criticized?” Check out Part 1 of “How to Give and Receive Criticism Like God Would Want.” Let’s talk about this important topic, shall we? Coming under scrutiny and being criticized can cause a lot of stress. Most people don’t volunteer to be criticized unless they know they can trust the person delivering the information. That being said, there are times when criticism comes with or without consent and we need to be ready to respond as God would want.
Criticism is something you can easily avoid by saying nothing, doing nothing, and being nothing–Aristotle
Series on “How to Give and Receive Criticism Like God would want”
- How to Give and Receive Criticism Like God Would Want, Part 1
- What are the Top 3 Reasons People Hate Criticism, Part 2
- 3 Unexpected Ways Criticism Can Make You Stronger, Part 3
- How to Find Success When You Call Criticism Feedback, Part 4
- How to Give and Take Criticism in a Healthy Way, Part 5
- How to Criticize Behavior, Not Character (Part 6)
- More on How to Take Criticism Well
As a general rule, people do not like being criticized. In fact, most people hate it. It ranks up there with public speaking on the list of things people want to avoid. Why is it that people are so averse to criticism? Here are the top three reasons people hate being criticized.
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We hate criticism because we are sinners
Reason #1. Well, let’s face it, we are sinful people. “For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.” (Romans 3:23) We are proud, and God instructs us to humble ourselves. One of many verses telling us this is, “Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and he shall lift you up.” James 4:10 The Bible reminds us that we think we know the right way, we think our way is right, and we’re stubborn! Proverbs 21:2–”Every way of a man is right in his own eyes: but the Lord pondereth the hearts.” So, it should be no surprise that we don’t want to hear from someone telling us that we are not right! We hate criticism because we are sinners.
When criticized we feel rejected and panic strikes
Reason #2. Rejection feels personal- Many people feel personally rejected when they hear criticism. The first reaction to criticism is panic: what’s wrong with me? We are all proud, but also insecure, and it is humbling to be criticized. I don’t like to think there is anything wrong with me!
We all struggle with self-criticism, and when someone verbally confirms what we’ve been hearing in our subconscious mind, it sends us into a tailspin emotionally, rather than taking the time to evaluate the situation to be sure there is, in fact, something wrong.
There are a lot of reasons that people get critical feedback; some are valid, and some are not. Nonetheless, the automatic reaction is usually self-doubt, guilt, and shame. All of which, people want to avoid at all costs.
We’ll look more at how the Bible instructs us to take criticism later, but suffice it to say, we must humble ourselves, take all criticism to the LORD, ask Him to show us what to change, and help us to change from the inside out–that is, we need heart change.
“Oh, what peace we often forfeit, oh what needless pain we bear, All because we do not carry everything to God in prayer.”
“What a Friend We Have In Jesus,” by Joseph M. Scriven
Do you take everything to the lord in prayer?
Reason #3. We don’t know what to do- Hearing negative feedback can trigger a fight or flight response–the panic I referred to earlier. Hearing something negative can leave you feeling like you’ve got to do something… or stop doing it. Somehow, criticism creates the need for action.
Most of the time, it isn’t quite clear what needs to be done. This can make it even harder. People hate hearing criticism because they don’t always know what to do about it. Not knowing what to do can leave people spinning out emotionally. We must go to the LORD in prayer!
I Know I’m Right, So Who Are You To Tell Me Differently?
One of my favorite hymns is, “What a Friend We Have In Jesus.” Wisely it reproves us, “Oh, what peace we often forfeit, oh what needless pain we bear, All because we do not carry everything to God in prayer.”
There are a multitude of examples in Scripture of people who were criticized wrongfully–falsely accused–and their responses. God shows us which responses were right, and which were not.
Look to Jesus’ example (especially in His last hours) of when to speak up and when to keep silent, and how to handle false accusations.
Being criticized can be very stressful. Some critiques are par for the course. We all expect to be evaluated from time to time. That doesn’t make it fun, but it does prepare us for feedback.
What Do You Do When You Are Blindsided by Criticism?
What to do when you are blindsided by criticism
Some criticism comes out of the blue and feels brutal. Whether planned or not, most people hate to be criticized because their emotions take over, it feels very personal, and they aren’t sure what to do with the negativity hurled at them.
Each of us has particular things we’re more sensitive to than others. Your children do, as well. One of my triggers is to be falsely accused–I hate it. (Perhaps this points out a pride issue?)
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Let’s look to Jesus’ example when we receive criticism, whether we expected it or not.
Wendy Gunn
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I’ve realized that when most of the criticism is false, but there’s a nugget of truth that’s just a bit twisted, it’s especially difficult to take it silently without defending myself. It’s the most difficult to take when it is unexpected, and blindsides me. This is where humility is most needed. This was the kind of criticism that Jesus received often. Let’s look to His example when we receive criticism, whether we expected it or not. Don’t forget to read Part 1, “How to Give and Receive Criticism Like God Would Want.”
Series on “How to Give and Receive Criticism Like God would want”
- How to Give and Receive Criticism Like God Would Want, Part 1
- What are the Top 3 Reasons People Hate Criticism, Part 2
- 3 Unexpected Ways Criticism Can Make You Stronger, Part 3
- How to Find Success When You Call Criticism Feedback, Part 4
- How to Give and Take Criticism in a Healthy Way, Part 5
- How to Criticize Behavior, Not Character (Part 6)
- More on How to Take Criticism Well
Click to Get Your Free Pretty Printable Scripture Cards. Use them all over your house to draw your family closer to the Lord!
Have a Great Week Making Your Home For God!
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Using Unit Studies In Your Homeschool
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