This is Part 3, “3 Unexpected Ways Criticism Can Make You Stronger.” See all the posts in the Series below and more are coming! How do you Give and Receive Criticism? Ready or not, criticism is coming. You’ve probably got stories about past criticisms and how they’ve affected you. We all do! Criticism can leave you feeling weak, misunderstood, and vulnerable, but it can also make you stronger if you let it. If you respond Biblically, you will benefit and grow in Christ-like character. It’s important to remember that the first thing we must have, in order to take criticism well, is humility. Embrace criticism to benefit your life.
3 Unexpected Ways Criticism Makes You Stronger
As you read these posts, think of these tips from two angles. First, take them to heart for yourself. Then, take them, and apply them to teaching and training your children how to give and receive criticism so they can become stronger and more filled with Godly character, too. We teach our children in three ways. Think of the acronym, PET. (I recorded a video on this.) Prayer is involved, our Example is so important, and then our actual Teaching or Training comes into play.
Series on “How to Give and Receive Criticism Like God would want”
- How to Give and Receive Criticism Like God Would Want, Part 1
- What are the Top 3 Reasons People Hate Criticism, Part 2
- 3 Unexpected Ways Criticism Can Make You Stronger, Part 3
- How to Find Success When You Call Criticism Feedback, Part 4
- How to Give and Take Criticism in a Healthy Way, Part 5
- How to Criticize Behavior, Not Character (Part 6)
- More on How to Take Criticism Well
Do you know the first thing about how to receive criticism well
Receiving criticism well begins with humility, and the Spirit of Christ within you helping you. You cannot do it in your own strength. So, step one, have you been saved by Jesus? Step 2: Humble yourself!
Have God’s Perspective on how to receive criticism
Having a proper mindset–God’s perspective about it–is key. Embracing criticism as a natural form of feedback and a great way to learn and grow will help you give and receive criticism more easily. At some point, you might learn to be thankful for criticism. There are unexpected ways it can make you stronger.
Unexpected benefits to receiving criticism
1. Unexpected Benefit– Giving and receiving criticism normalizes the practice. Have you heard the term snowflake (“A very sensitive person. Someone who is easily hurt or offended by the statements or actions of others.” Urban dictionary)? We live in a society where many people are afraid to fail. Teaching children to not be afraid of failure is one of the most important skills you will ever teach them!
Failing to fail is the surest way to experience failure in life. In fact, failure is one of the greatest teachers. So is criticism. Thomas Edison said, “I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.”
Do Not Be Afraid of Failure (or Criticism)!
It’s important to know who to accept criticism from and have the wisdom to take the opinion of certain people and reject the opinion of others (another topic in this series). Giving and receiving high-value, or wise, criticism normalizes the practice and makes it easier to identify:
- When to listen to critical feedback
- When to make changes
- The impact you have on others
- What makes you resistant to criticism
There’s value in this list! The most successful people have the ability to use criticism as feedback and make adjustments in their thoughts and behaviors based on the information. Choose wise mentors!
Click to Get Your Free Pretty Printable Scripture Cards. Use them all over your house to draw your family closer to the Lord!
One of my Top 10 Tips in my course, Raising Godly Kids, is to surround yourself with wise companions. God says in His Word (Proverbs 13:20) that a companion of fools will be destroyed. That’s in part because foolish companions will give you bad advice and feedback. Not only their words will lead you astray, but also will their example.
See 2 Chronicles 10:6-8 for the story of King Rehoboam, who listened to his peers instead of the old men who had counseled his father, King Solomon, to his destruction, and the results of that wrong decision. This is just one example from the Bible of listening to the wrong feedback: “But he forsook the counsel which the old men gave him, and took counsel with the young men that were brought up with him, that stood before him.”
3 Unexpected Ways Criticism Makes You Stronger
2. Unexpected Benefit– Giving and receiving criticism creates a culture of change. Being able to adapt and change is a Godly characteristic that must be learned for success as a Christian. This is just another way to say we must be willing to repent and change.
Heart change to Habit change is one of my main themes at Your Home For God! The goals that I have accomplished by God’s grace (losing 50 lbs twice, Homeschooling our children all the way through, changing from being disorganized to someone others consider organized–though I am always learning in this area) began with a willingness–even a desperation–for heart change!
When we are not willing to adapt and change, we become set in our ways, which may be wrong, and we stubbornly and proudly go right along, to our demise. God wants to continue to mold and change us to our dying day! He is making us more Christ-like through the pressures and trials we go through!
Think of a sculptor or a potter applying pressure to the material he’s working on, to move it into a new position, to mold it and recreate it! That is a picture of God molding us and making us more like Christ. But, it involves applying pressure! We must desire change, cry out to God for change, and often God will use the criticism of others to guide us to where change is needed.
Having a mindset that embraces wise criticism as a gateway to change makes sense. People who are willing to flex, change, and shift their focus tend to achieve at great levels and deal more gracefully with an ever-changing world. Nothing stays the same (we’re seeing that in a global way at this time in history) and critical feedback can be helpful for making important changes that make you stronger and better over time.
“Learning to embrace reproof as a natural part of life (which the Bible commands) can actually make you stronger and more effective.”
Wendy Gunn
3. Unexpected Benefit– Giving and receiving criticism makes you less sensitive. The more you do anything, the better you get at it. Sensitivity comes from being afraid and resistant. The less you are criticized, the worse it feels when it happens. Don’t misunderstand! This is not to say that shelling out criticism left and right to your family is a good thing and that you are doing them a favor when you do it. Don’t think you need to look for ways to criticize them to benefit them or that it will automatically make them stronger! That’s not the message here.
How not to take it personally, not to react or defensively respond are things we all have to learn. It’s important to teach our children how to respond to criticism. Perhaps we will never love criticism, but we may learn how to manage it. Becoming less sensitive makes you stronger and more self-controlled. It enables you to think rationally about situations, and to wisely decide where you need to apply the feedback you get.
Click to Get Your Free Pretty Printable Scripture Cards. Use them all over your house to draw your family closer to the Lord!
Accept Criticism as a natural part of life
Criticism or rebuke can feel intimidating and cause defensiveness. That’s normal, especially when you aren’t used to criticism. Learning to embrace reproof as a natural part of life can actually make you stronger and more effective.
We don’t have to look for ways to criticize our family more, thinking it will help them grow! We can be an example of how to humbly accept reproof. We can point our children to the Word of God for wisdom and instruction on how to live.
If you are a parent who never dares correct their child, or thinks that a “harsh word” will ruin their spirit, you need only to look to Scripture and King David’s life to see the error of your ways. His example as a parent to Adonijah is explained in 1 Kings 1.
It says in verses 5-6: “Then Adonijah the son of Haggith exalted himself, saying, I will be king: and he prepared him chariots and horsemen, and fifty men to run before him.
6 And his father had not displeased him at any time in saying, Why hast thou done so? and he also was a very goodly man; and his mother bare him after Absalom.” (italics mine)
Adonijah never had the proper parenting to correct his ways, (his father never questioned or corrected a thing he did!) and besides that he was extremely good looking which may have led to a prideful attitude, and he had Absalom as a big brother–not the best example. Pride ran rampant in him, and led to his destruction.
God commands us to discipline our children, to correct them, and to train them in the nurture and admonition of the LORD. (ADMONI’TION, noun Gentle reproof; counseling against a fault; instruction in duties; caution; direction.) Ephesians 6:4–”And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.”
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Teach them, and learn yourself, to allow criticism to be a beneficial and valuable resource for your character development, hard as that may be.
Wendy Gunn
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This involves telling them when they are wrong, helping them change, and showing them how to accept criticism well. But, as a mom, I must learn how to give criticism well. Teach them, and learn yourself, to allow criticism to be a beneficial and valuable resource for your character development, hard as that may be.
Series on “How to Give and Receive Criticism Like God would want”
- How to Give and Receive Criticism Like God Would Want, Part 1
- What are the Top 3 Reasons People Hate Criticism, Part 2
- 3 Unexpected Ways Criticism Can Make You Stronger, Part 3
- How to Find Success When You Call Criticism Feedback, Part 4
- How to Give and Take Criticism in a Healthy Way, Part 5
- How to Criticize Behavior, Not Character (Part 6)
- More on How to Take Criticism Well
Click to Get Your Free Pretty Printable Scripture Cards. Use them all over your house to draw your family closer to the Lord!
How We Homeschool Series Happening Now!
Are you a New or Newer Homeschooler? Or maybe you’ve been at it for awhile, but really could use some support and encouragement? Join me in the month-long Series, “How We Homeschool” over at The Fervent Mama! I’m privileged to be a Contributor joining other veteran (some finished and some still at it) Homeschool moms each weekday in the month of September posting helpful tips, how-tos, and encouragement for you! There are freebies, deals on Homeschool products you’ll love, Giveaways, and much, much more! So much fun!
Homeschool Math From A Rocket Scientist–Calculadder
This post in the How We Homeschool Series is on Homeschool Help From A Rocket Scientistwho isa father of 12! New Calculadder Giveaway!
Have a Great Week Making Your Home For God!
P.S. Struggling with parenting? Here’s my Video Course, “Raising Godly Kids”! There’s a 30-day 100% money-back guarantee, so there’s nothing to lose! Get help today!
I help overwhelmed moms grow spiritually, with joy in who God uniquely created them (and their families) to be, raise Godly kids, and get their lives organized for God’s glory, through Mentoring, Courses and Coaching.
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