We’re talking about How to Be Humbly Grateful for Criticism today. Our priority as moms is to make our home for God, to have loving family relationships, to be a good wife, mom, and also, a good friend. When we ask for feedback to more consistently live for Christ, we must be humbly grateful for it. Wow, how tough is that? It’s humbling to ask for feedback in the first place from anyone, and then humbling to receive it gratefully. But, if we’re going to apply it and benefit from it, that’s what we have to do. Here’s how. In this series on “How to Give and Receive Criticism Like God Would Want,” we said that calling criticism feedback might help us.
Humbly Grateful
When we develop a thick skin, and aren’t overly sensitive, that will help us take criticism. And, most importantly, if we put away pride, and humble ourselves–as Christ was humble, we can begin to gratefully receive criticism as feedback. We’ve looked at considerations and questions to ask. (Click to Read more posts in the series below!) We know that criticism from certain authorities must be carefully considered, but what about other types of criticism and other authorities? What should our response be?
The Bible teaches wives to submit to their own husbands as unto the LORD. Those closest to us may be the most difficult to receive criticism from! Marriage and Christian parenting are the most important relationships and difficult to be humble in, both when giving and receiving criticism! Which is why this series is so important, is getting more and more personal and is hitting closer to home, isn’t it? What about people who aren’t in authority over you, though, but who you are in a good relationship with and want to keep it that way? It can get sticky. What if you don’t agree?
When you don’t agree with a critique, you have options. You are under no obligation to blindly accept someone’s feedback just because they’ve offered it. You can consider it, reject it, or ignore it. Here are some simple ways to politely, but firmly disagree with a critique.
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Prioritizing Your Relationships with Family and Friends
Read all the Posts in the Series on “How to Give and Receive Criticism Like God would want”
- How to Give and Receive Criticism Like God Would Want, Part 1
- What are the Top 3 Reasons People Hate Criticism, Part 2
- 3 Unexpected Ways Criticism Can Make You Stronger, Part 3
- How to Find Success When You Call Criticism Feedback, Part 4
- How to Give and Take Criticism in a Healthy Way, Part 5
- How to Criticize Behavior, Not Character, Part 6)
- How to Get Help From Criticism and Not Defensive, Part 7
- What if Criticism Will Help Good Things To Happen, Part 8
- How to Take Criticism Like God Would Want, Part 9
- How to Have a Healthy Relationship When You Disagree, Part 10
- How to Be Humbly Grateful For Criticism, Part 11
How to Humbly Take a Stand.
Acknowledge and move on
One of the most basic ways to disagree with a critique is to acknowledge it and move on. Depending on who is giving the criticism and under what circumstances, you can simply offer a reply such as, “Thanks for the feedback.” In many cases, people will understand that you accept their point of view but don’t owe them anything because of it. Another way to state this is, “Let’s agree to disagree on this.”
Address the issue and stand firm
In this series on “How to Give and Receive Criticism Like God Would Want,” we talk about the fact that there are going to be times when you have to take a stand. There are times when people will challenge you and ask for you to do something for them. In a work environment, an example might be a customer service request to refund money or exchange a product.
In a family environment, an example may be a grandparent requesting you to change your standards or decisions in how you parent your own children. Homeschoolers may experience this if either set or both of grandparents don’t support their decision to pull their children out of the public school and/or begin Homeschooling them and are worried that they will ruin them. That’s a hard one, and actually, common.
Humbly Grateful
When Your Family Doesn’t Agree With Your Homeschooling
I experienced this when I told my mom that we were going to Homeschool our firstborn son, who was her beloved first grandchild, and who my dad had lived and breathed for, prior to his death just a couple of years before! Due to fear of the unknown, mostly, and her deep love for our son, she actually cried when I told her. We were sitting in a restaurant, and I remember it like it was yesterday. I have a lot more empathy for her now that I’m almost the same age that she was then.
Let me encourage you, if you are facing criticism from extended family over your choice to Homeschool. Although, if there were ever a time when people seem to understand and accept Homeschooling as a decision, it is now, right? But, those that accept it as a choice often don’t understand what it really is! If you’re facing criticism, though, humbly and quietly smile in the face of it.
As you raise your children, and make sure you’re doing a good job to train them to honor and respect their elders, to be polite, to show the love of Christ to grandparents and other family members, and as they are growing in Godly character, those who criticized you will become your most ardent fans. They will promote Homeschooling, because of your children’s good character, academic success, and humility. The key here is that you, with God’s help, are faithfully growing in Christ-likeness, and diligently learning. But, the day will come when they will be praising, not criticizing you!
In that situation, recognize that your children’s character growth and success as you Homeschool will be the proof that turns disbelieving relatives into ardent supporters. When your children honor their grandparents, treat them with love and respect, enjoy spending time with them, are able to engage in conversation with them, and make them proud, there’s not a grandparent alive that won’t rave about them.
It will help your children be wise and discerning to learn how to say no to certain things, without offending the person suggesting it, or giving it.
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How to Treat People With Love While Disagreeing With Them
Perhaps the grandparents want to be able to spend time with their grandchildren, though they live in a way that is unBiblical, and you feel they are impacting and influencing your children negatively. Perhaps they have requested to take your children to some activity or event that you do not believe in or feel will be detrimental to them.
If you do not agree with the request, you can address and acknowledge their request, but hold firm to your beliefs and politely decline. You do not have to attack the person, while still holding true to your beliefs. Acknowledge their love for your children, and respect their desire to show love to their grandchildren.
Recognize that they want to give to your children, and spend time with them, and see if you can find an alternative event, or another way for this goal to be accomplished, that will not violate your standards or beliefs.
Humble Yourself and Be Grateful
Ignore criticism that isn’t constructive
Social media tends to be a place where criticism runs rampant. There’s even a term for people who purposely try to disrupt others by making rude and disparaging comments—trolls. Of course. you would never agree with this sort of criticism and the best course of action is to completely ignore it.
There are times when you won’t agree with a criticism for very good reasons. Use your good judgment and take the most appropriate action to consider the critique or reject/ignore it.
Asking for Critiques Builds Character
A lot of the focus has been on receiving critiques—preparing for them, acknowledging them, and managing them. These are very useful and important things, but there’s an additional valuable concept out there too—asking for critiques.
Asking for criticism…constructive and otherwise, can build our character. In the same way that frequent reviews in a business setting can make us stronger and help us thrive, asking for feedback can help us fast track to more successful lives, spiritually, and personally.
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When to Ask for a Critique
You needn’t wait for a spontaneous review or criticism to gauge how well you’re doing. You can ask for feedback and sort through the compliments and the criticism for data. Here are some great opportunities to ask for a critique.
Approach management or other respected leaders
In marriage, and as Homeschoolers, wives must ask their husbands for feedback. It is common for Homeschool moms to call their husbands the “Principal.”
Whomever you report to under various circumstances is a wonderful resource for feedback. Asking pastors, elders of your church, mentors, volunteer coordinators, teachers, managers, and other leaders for feedback about how you’re doing, ways you could improve, and for their advice can help you fast track to the success you are after.
Poll customers
If you have a business, a shop, or even a blog where you sell things, you can easily ask for customer feedback after transactions, at the end of a relationship, or as part of a follow-up from receiving services. Asking open-ended questions like, “What did you like best about this service?” or “Was there anything missing from your experience?” can help you get insight into the customer experience. This is also an excellent way to get testimonials for your marketing.
Check in with friends and family for feedback
There’s nothing wrong with boldly asking for a critique from people you admire and respect. Share your goals to build your character and improve yourself. Inquire about their thoughts on what’s going well and what areas you might have a blind spot in. Be open to their feedback and consider ways you may want to make some changes. Choose people whom you trust and respect, and who you believe will give you helpful feedback.
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Asking for feedback builds character. Why? Because it takes humility. It takes a willingness to change. A willingness to listen, and respect another’s point of view. The benefit is that people respect someone who genuinely seeks to improve themself and their relationships and become more like Christ.
Whether it be a mentor, coach, teacher of your children (for example, a piano or co-op teacher), Sunday School teacher, pastor, or good friend, asking for feedback on occasion is a good thing.
Young moms often speak of wanting older women to mentor them. I did back in the day. But, the fact is, we have to be ready to receive feedback that sometimes falls into the category of criticism. If we are willing to change, to receive feedback humbly, we will be doing it like God would want.
From a personal point of view, it is encouraging to see people trying to become more Christ-like and include their friends and family on the journey. It will deepen relationships, when criticism is done correctly.
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Young moms want older women to mentor them. I did. I wanted that. But, the fact is, we have to then be ready to receive feedback that feels like criticism. That’s hard, because it takes humility! Young moms who are humble will receive criticism. But, older moms will give feedback gently and humbly, so that it doesn’t feel like criticism.
Wendy Gunn
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From a professional standpoint, we honor those people we see actively trying to make improvements and being humbly grateful. As a person in business, this can improve your career, and your relationships with managers and colleagues. When you ask for feedback, professionally or personally, humbly and gratefully receiving it, it will help you improve and change.
From my experience, I recommend to you that you ask God to change you. Because He loves you, is All-wise, and All-powerful, the most extraordinary grace and mercy and power will come upon your life and you will achieve goals you thought impossible. It won’t be easy, but you will have amazing testimonies and eternal fruit. The more humbly grateful you become, to God and others, the better you’ll be able to cooperate with God to grow, and the faster you’ll achieve your goals. “By humility and the fear of the LORD are riches, and honour, and life.” Proverbs 22:4
Subscribe to Get Your Free Pretty Printable Scripture Cards. Use them all over your house to consistently prioritize God’s goals for your family, home, and life!
Read all the Posts in the Series on “How to Give and Receive Criticism Like God would want”
- How to Give and Receive Criticism Like God Would Want, Part 1
- What are the Top 3 Reasons People Hate Criticism, Part 2
- 3 Unexpected Ways Criticism Can Make You Stronger, Part 3
- How to Find Success When You Call Criticism Feedback, Part 4
- How to Give and Take Criticism in a Healthy Way, Part 5
- How to Criticize Behavior, Not Character, Part 6)
- How to Get Help From Criticism and Not Defensive, Part 7
- What if Criticism Will Help Good Things To Happen, Part 8
- How to Take Criticism Like God Would Want, Part 9
- How to Have a Healthy Relationship When You Disagree, Part 10
- How to Be Humbly Grateful For Criticism, Part 11
Subscribe to Get Your Free Pretty Printable Scripture Cards. Use them all over your house to consistently prioritize God’s goals for your family, home, and life!
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