How to Discipline My Child Consistently | Your Home For God

Godly Parents Lovingly Discipline

How do I know how to discipline my child? How early should I begin? How will I have success in child discipline and how will I know I’ve succeeded? What will hinder my efforts in raising Godly children? These are some of the questions we’ve been tackling in this Series on Obedience in Children.

If you’ve missed any of the posts, scroll down below for the list and click on the links to read them. You don’t want to miss one of them! Your parenting success, the peace of your home, and God accomplishing His will in your children, are all at stake. Following the counsel there, your lives could be changed. That’s how dramatic following this advice was in our home.

On the subject of spanking, spanking works best when all of God’s Word, not just the verses in it on spanking, are taught, followed–and obeyed. I’ve observed that a child doesn’t need much spanking if first-time obedience is expected and consistently trained in a loving, calm way, along with discipline being administered from a very young age! Very little is needed, actually. They are trained from a young age to obey. That’s just the way it is in their household and children know it.

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Read All The Posts in The Series on Obedience in Children and Share Them With Other Moms You Know Who Need This!

And, check out all the Christian Parenting Resources in Your Home For God’s Store!

Part 1:  Raising Godly Kids

Part 2:What is the #1 Character Trait You Need to Train In

Part 3: How to Be a Success in Child Discipline

Part 4:How to Stop Being a Repeating Parent

Part 5:Christian Parenting is Tough

Bonus Post: How to Discipline My Child

“Spanking is not child abuse.”  Elisabeth Elliot

This is not for a minute an excuse for, or a condoning of, abuse. Don’t misunderstand.

No parent enjoys disciplining their children, really. You must love them and be unselfish to discipline your children consistently and appropriately. You have to love them more than your own comfort. It’s not easy to be consistent, or to trust the Lord. You can’t be looking at your neighbor to see what they think of your parenting, but keep your eyes on God and His Word.

If you forego spanking completely, the Bible says you are a parent who “hates your child.” Wow. We’ve all heard the phrase, “Spare the rod and spoil the child.”  That exact phrase I couldn’t find anywhere in the Bible. But, there is much to say to parents about spanking being a good thing for the child. Of course, how you do it is very important. (Read the other posts.)

What I have seen happen when spanking is not practiced, is that a mom (or dad) tends to become a very angry, repeating parent. Or, they try a lot of ineffective methods of discipline. Anytime you try to go against the Bible’s commands and instructions, you can expect problems.

“The rod and reproof give wisdom: but a child left [to himself] bringeth his mother to shame.”

Proverbs 29:15

The goal in Biblical discipline is that the child should learn to obey, not only their parents, but God, by becoming disciplined within themselves, and out of love for the Lord, therefore not needing (much) outside discipline.

When your child receives the free gift of salvation, and is saved, believing in the Lord Jesus Christ, you will see a changed heart, and the Holy Spirit at work in their life. Your prayers for this and sharing the gospel with your children are all important.

We want our children to be motivated from the heart to obey the Lord, and their parents, for this is God’s will. God promises blessing to the child who learns to honor and obey their parents.

Loving Discipline Requires a Little Pain

It’s almost funny that we embrace the saying, “No pain, no gain,” in regard to the discipline and training of our bodies (children or adults). Why then do we react against the idea of a child experiencing pain in order to become disciplined in their spirit and soul?

“Now no chastening for the present seemeth to be joyous, but grievous: nevertheless afterward it yieldeth the peaceable fruit of righteousness unto them which are exercised thereby.”

Hebrews 12:11

“Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right. Honour thy father and mother; which is the first commandment with promise; That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth.”

Ephesians 6:1-3

Definition of Discipline

The following is an excellent definition of child discipline (the practice of “spanking” a child) that Elisabeth Elliot gives in her book, “The Shaping of a Christian Family,” in which she recounts the story of her own upbringing:

Discipline Calmly, Lovingly, With Self-Control

Administer “pain” in a calm, loving manner–in other words, spank a child–when they disobey, (please read all my other posts on this subject to get the full story and in context) because God instructs us not to “spare the rod.” Proverbs 13:24, “He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes.” (disciplines him early)

I’ve watched countless individuals grow up, who were spanked as children in the way I’ve outlined, who are now happily married, raising their families, and continuing the practice of administering discipline by spanking, when necessary.

“I’ve observed the wonderful results, in more cases than I could count, of children who were spanked in obedience to God’s Word, who grew up to be mature adults who love the Lord, are happily married, and continue the practice with their children.”

Wendy Gunn

I also know a few, who have chosen not to spank in the way I’ve outlined, who don’t like being a mom very much, and are very frustrated by their children’s behavior, and are frankly, exhausted.

I think it’s good when the Dad administers the discipline, but whether Dad or Mom does the disciplining, I recommend using a neutral object, such as a wooden spoon. Try it out on yourself first. You don’t need much effort and only once–just enough to sting a little. (The scope of these posts has not been much in detail on how to spank, but I think there’s enough to get you started.)

“Foolishness [is] bound in the heart of a child; [but] the rod of correction shall drive it far from him.”

Proverbs 22:15

Spanking isn’t the only discipline that should be, or is, given in a loving, Godly home. There has to be training and teaching from the Word of God. There must be rebukes, reprimands, and consequences that match the offense. Withholding of privileges at times. Clearly taught rules, expectations, and principles from God’s Word lived out. Consistently. And, the child must also know he or she is loved.

This isn’t to say that it’s easy. There’s a spiritual battle going on, remember. (See my post, “Christian Parenting is Tough.”) And don’t despair thinking, “I’ve failed! I’m not perfect!” No one is!

We’re all learning. We all need forgiveness. We’re all failing to some degree. We need God’s help in Raising Godly children because it requires the Holy Spirit’s work in the hearts of our children. Cry out to God for help!

However, for the most part, the children who are disciplined in the way I’ve outlined, are happy, well-adjusted, obedient, respectful little people, because they know what’s expected. They know what the rules are, and what will happen immediately if they break those rules. Consistent training from God’s Word and discipline has been applied.

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They see that what their parents say is true. What the parents say, they do, and justice is administered. The parents mean what they say. The children know they deserved the punishment when they receive it. It makes them feel loved, and secure when they receive the just reward for their wrongdoing.

Spanking works best when all of God’s Word, not just the verses on spanking, are taught, followed and obeyed. I’ve observed that, if first-time obedience is expected and consistent loving, calm, training and discipline are administered from a very young age, a child doesn’t need spanking very often, or after a young age! Very little is needed, at all, actually. They are trained from a young age to obey. That’s just the way it is in their household. And, they feel very secure in the knowledge that they know what to expect, their parents love them, aren’t angry, and are consistent.

Read all the posts in the Series on Obedience in Children. Share them with someone you think would benefit!

Part 1:  Raising Godly Kids

Part 2:What is the #1 Character Trait You Need to Train In

Part 3: How to Be a Success in Child Discipline

Part 4:How to Stop Being a Repeating Parent

Part 5:Christian Parenting is Tough

Bonus Post: How to Discipline My Child

Have a Great Day Making Your Home For God!

Wendy Gunn at Your Home For God helps Christian women raise Godly kids, find & fulfill their purpose and achieve God's goals for their life.

I help Christian moms raise their kids according to Biblical principles, get organized to manage life, achieve their unique God-given goals and dreams, and fulfill God’s purpose for them to make a difference in the world through my workshops, courses, and coaching founded on Biblical principles. You are already successful in many areas. I can help you in those that you’re not. Dream big dreams, and see God transform and use your life in amazing ways! Let’s work together for your success!

In Your Home For God’s Store, discover resources to help you get organized, raise Godly kids, and have the support and encouragement to know who you are, know what God wants you to do to fulfill His purpose for your life, and achieve His unique goals for you!

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