How to Be A Success in Child Discipline

Success in Child Discipline came after we failed, and had many days of humble, tearful retraining. My desire for you is that you would not have to go through that, but, I also know you learn much through failure, and trials. You learn to rely on God, most of all.

In this Series on Obedience in Children, I’m sharing my tips to help you have success in child discipline. I’m an older mom, who learned a lot through failure. 

Read All The Posts in The Series on Obedience in Children and Share Them With Other Moms You Know Who Need This!

Part 1:  Raising Godly Kids

Part 2: What is the #1 Character Trait You Need to Train In

Part 3: How to Be a Success in Child Discipline

Part 4:​How to Stop Being a Repeating Parent​

Part 5: Christian Parenting is Tough

Bonus Post: How to Discipline My Child

I, with my husband, was given grace by God to raise our children for Him, and to Homeschool them all the way. Now they are walking with the Lord (and all the glory should go to God) and I’d like to share with you some of the things we learned.

Success in Child Discipline (Finally)

We finally found success in child discipline. These were days of great peace and joy in our home. How did we do that? Well, God broke us and we cried out to Him. He led us and He wrote a story in our lives. 

There’s such a fine line. Because, God needs to, and deserves to, get all the glory, but there are also things that He taught us, that if you put them into practice, too, will help you raise obedient children.

You need to read all the posts in the Series on Obedience in Children, to get the full picture, but start with this post, “What is the #1 Character Trait to Train in,” and this one, “Raising Godly Kids.”

You are Training Yourselves as Parents

At first this new system will be difficult: you’re retraining yourself most of all. It will be so much easier to be cheerful, though, and not get angry, when everyone knows what the rules are and they know when they’ve broken them, and know what the consequence is going to be. You can calmly and cheerfully administer justice. Just be absolutely consistent. 

Younger children will get a swat on the legs with a wooden spoon. Test it on your own leg, so you can see how little you need to do. Just to sting. (What age is younger? You will ultimately be the one to decide, but I would say age 6 and under for a guideline.)

Set Up Practice Training Sessions

You may even want to, with younger children, set up training times and situations, to reinforce the behavior that’s expected. One older mom I know called the cheap vases “training vases”–those items she placed within reach of her smaller children on the coffee table, and then told them they were not to touch them. 

Reward and praise obedience and cheerfulness, and give consequences for disobedience, because you want to, for your children’s sake, get this new obedience and the good attitudes ingrained in them as quickly as possible.

The older children will be given an extra job every time they don’t obey or each time that they exhibit a bad attitude when asked to do something, or when they talk back. (More on this later.)

Consequences for Bad Attitudes

Some days your middle and older children will be racking up the extra jobs! I advise that you keep at hand a list of small jobs that you need done.

When you are cheerful and consistent, they will begin to see that their own behavior and attitudes caused the consequences and you are no longer the “bad guy.”

The Blessings of Obedience

You won’t be getting angry anymore. Some days there will be a lot of extra work done! This is a win-win situation!

“The older child quickly learns that he or she has complete control!No disobedience or bad attitudes = no extra jobs!” Wendy Gunn

We would actually laugh about this. A child who is in a snit and just has to say one more word of protest can rack up quite a list of jobs in a very short time.

“To Delay is to Disobey, and Disobey is Sin.”

I would just be ready with my list of jobs, and say, “Fine, now you can empty out all the wastebaskets, too!” That tween or teen quickly saw that they had complete control–no disobedience or bad attitudes results in no extra jobs. They would only be disgusted with themselves later, for they knew they had only themselves to blame.

What Happens to Our Homeschool Day?

The schoolwork (for those children of school age) still had to be done, so it meant they would have to work on school later into the day. 

When Dad came home from work and a child was still doing their schoolwork, the answer was obvious: the child’s behavior or attitude had caused a long day for them. If they’re smart, it doesn’t take long for them to realize, “It’s not worth it.”

God expects us to obey Him. Right away. Training your children in obedience: to obey you immediately, completely and cheerfully, is the #1 character trait to train them in, because it will prepare them to do the same for their Heavenly Father. 

When children disobey their parents, they are sinning. When we disobey our Heavenly Father, we are sinning. Training your children in first-time obedience to you will help them so much in their Christian life, to love the Lord, and obey Him completely, immediately and cheerfully.

Read All The Posts in The Series on Obedience in Children and Share Them With Other Moms You Know Who Need This!

Part 1:  Raising Godly Kids

Part 2:What is the #1 Character Trait You Need to Train In

Part 3:How to Be a Success in Child Discipline

Part 4:​How to Stop Being a Repeating Parent​

Part 5:Christian Parenting is Tough

Bonus Post: How to Discipline My Child